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enough of the shenanigans!
the girl next door 
Amanda Scaleewander! ;DD
i'm so fly.
that's basically all you need to know.underline italic bold |
❤SH(OUT).
scream out loud
let's trace back my steps
gone with the wind May 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 March 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 |
❤Humans.
bloghoppin' |
rouillee ✃☜
07 August 2010
Rouillee means to rust in french. I feel that I've rusted myself after all the drowning in the torrents of my own tears. I feel so hurt. so lost. so helpless. But i can't tell anyone. No one would understand. It's like my mind's a boggle box...you shake it so hard in a hope that you form words or clues but nada. I try so hard to find words to express what I feel inside but the only way i express it to people is by being what Suffian described me as just last Sunday, " eccentric''. You know it's just so much easier to hide behind a facade rather than to explain to people what you're going through. Yet on the other hand i think that my being quirky isn't a facade, more like a means of escape from this inner turmoil. I cry so much but it only medicates the hurts temporarily... when i wake up the next morning it's just a wake up call back to my unaltered reality. I just wish so bad that the year will past really quick and i could fast forward to my leaving to America next July. I can't stand being here and all. I want to go away to a place where no one knows me...where i can literally start afresh. And I don't want to leave as a way to escape but to delve into a world of what is unknown to me currently... to see if the problems i face are ensued because of my mistakes or because of the society or people I currently reside with.
My guess is that only time will tell aye.
and if I lived in my own bubble till I left... I should think I'd be able to survive.